Coulson, Natasha hit me!
by NOOO COULSOOON
Summary: Clint and Natasha get into a fight, Coulson is the adult in the room. Short oneshot for my friend Random Cookie Monster. Hints of Clint/Coulson and Natasha/Pepper. Don't like don't read, thanks.


**AN:** Hello, a short oneshot for my friend Random Cookie Monster. She's yet to finish her first story, but if you could check her out(especially if you like Clint/Coulson, that's what her first story's gonna be about.) Light slash, nothing too heavy. Enjoy!

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Coulson, Natasha hit me!

"COULSON, Natasha hit me really hard in the head, Coulson." Clint Barton whined as he plopped down by coulson, pulling the most convincing kicked puppy eyes he could to gain the older man's sympathy.

Coulson rolled his eyes at the agent, peering over his report at Natasha, who was lounging over a chair her legs dangling over the side with feline grace. He raised an eyebrow at her in question to the reason for the attack on her fellow agent.

Natasha shrugged. "It was cognitive recalibration." She rested her head on her hand. Offering no more explanation as to what caused her to hit Clint.

"Now now children don't make me put you in the naughty corner. As for you Natasha you are a strike away from being grounded." Coulson placed the report back on the table before turning towards clint who was still looking a Coulson expectantly waiting for Natasha to be punished.

"Coulson she hit me hard on the head! I could have received brain damage!" Clint said mock dramatically. This only caused Coulson to shake his head at Clint and return to try and focus on the report.

"This is all your fault 'tasha!" Clint accused pointing at the red head. Natasha glared over at Clint sitting herself in a more ready position to tackle Clint if she needed. "What did I even do?!"

Natasha didn't grace him with an answer intent to just glare at him instead, more than likely waiting for Clint to run his mouth. As she knew would happen Clint started to talk again.

"Sides, all I said was you have been unusually close to that secretary of Stark, Pepper Potts, right?" Clint didn't wait for an answer. "Wait... If you combine your code name with her name, you get black pepper!" Clint grinned only just stopping himself from laughing manically at the idea, before he let out an unmanly squeal as Natasha dived at him knocking him from his chair next to Coulson, who slowly facepalmed at the scene before him.

"_(Do you wish to die in)?!" _Natasha hissed in Russian. Trying to strangle the other.

Coulson decided it was about time he intervened. While Clint may have liked the colour purple, Coulson thought he looked unflattering if it was his skin that was purple. "Agent Romanov, please restrain yourself from killing Agent Barton, or I will put you in the naughty corner."

Natasha growled as she released Clint and stood up stalking out of the room. Barton sat up from his place on the floor rubbing the tender area of his head, pouting. "Coulson my head hurts."

Coulson smirked behind the hand he was using to rest his head on. "Does my little Clinton Francis Barton have a boo boo?" This remark made Clint recoil.

"Don't call me that!" Clint demanded, a look of horror on his face.

The smirk Coulson gave Clint was half forged innocence and half evil. " That's your name Clinton."

Clint grimes at the sound of the name. "It's stupid and I don't like it!" He argued in defence to never telling people his true first name, unless they really needed to know.

"I think it's nice." Coulson merely stated, watching as Clint moved himself from the floor back into the chair beside him.

Clint sulked, touching the small bump forming on his head from Natasha's assault. 'Note to self, never piss off Natasha about her possible lesbian relationship with certain blond haired secretary.' Clint mentally noted it as he would have physically noted it, but he was too worried Natasha would kill him.

"It still hurt?" Coulson asked, signing his name on the report, to say he had read and double checked it for any inconsistencies.

"Yes!" Clint crossed his arms and looked away from Coulson in defiance.

"Want me to kiss it better?" Coulson smirked at the blush creeping over Clint.

"Yes, mother dear-" Clint began but was cut off by Coulson, who had leaned forward and covered Clints mouth with his own. It was only a quick brush of lips and then Coulson moved kissed the bump on Clint's head then leaves.

"I need to give Fury this report, want to go out afterwards? Lola's waiting in the garage." Coulson told Clint before he left the room.

Once Coulson had handed the report ro Fury and gathered all the work and other stuff he needed, picking up the now bloody, but signed Captain America cards. He slipped them into his pocket, picking up a picture of him, Clint and Natasha. It was when they first started working together. He placed in back on his desk and headed to where he knew Lola was and was 99.9% sure another person was going to be there.

He stepped out the elevator and saw Clint leant against Lola. "If anyone else touched Lola, I'd taze them."

Clint smirked. "But you love me!"


End file.
